Life Since High School

Mike Sluss

Mike in 1968After NTW I graduated from Carleton College in 1972 and from the U of Minnesota med school in 1976 and finished my neurology training in 1980. I have been in private practice, first in Kalamazoo for eight years and in Green Bay since then.

Joyce and I have been married for 28 years. We have three children. Becky (22) has graduated from Hamline University and lives in Minneapolis. Dan (20) is a sophomore at Willamette University, and David (15) is a high school freshman.

To supplement the above history, and to keep with the American traditions of standardized tests and meaningless trivia games, I have devised the following multiple choice test. For each question, choose the best one answer of the four possible responses. Use a #2 pencil, and if you would like to argue about any of the answers, please e-mail me at

  1. I met Joyce:

    1. after brief flings with Madonna, Rock Hudson, and Barbara Streisand.
    2. at California's Mendocino State Psychiatric Hospital.
    3. after 7 marriages and 4 divorces.
    4. all of the above.

  2. After an apolitical college career, I:

    1. became a political advisor to Richard M. Nixon.
    2. committed to memory all the wonderful sayings of Ronald Reagan.
    3. flew 475 successful fighter missions in the Gulf War.
    4. was active as president of the Kalamazoo chapter of the anti-nuclear group Physicians for Social Responsibility.

  3. My closest brush with Hollywood has been:

    1. as Kevin Costner's private acting coach.
    2. brief flings with Ann-Margaret, Rock Hudson, and Bob Newhart.
    3. as personal physician to John Denver (and treating his seizure disorder).
    4. my father accidentally killing Ed Zwick's pet dog.

  4. My sports career includes:

    1. shortening my competitive basketball career in 1982 by rupturing an Achilles tendon in a Y league game.
    2. being player/coach of a softball team for the past 9 nine years.
    3. still thinking about running.
    4. all of the above.

  5. I became involved in professional sports:

    1. as Ray Rhodes' personal advisor and strategist.
    2. by making a fortune betting on the Cubs.
    3. by teaching Michael Jordan the jump shot.
    4. as team neurologist for the short-lived Kalamazoo Kangaroos indoor soccer team.

  6. My professional career has included:

    1. 37 successful brain transplants.
    2. 37 lost malpractice lawsuits.
    3. 19 years on hospital bioethics committees.
    4. many years of enjoying redundant paperwork, threat of lawsuits, and federal bureaucratic nonsense.

  7. My sense of adventure has:

    1. caused me to be abducted and then returned by aliens, TWICE!
    2. inspired me to rollerblade the length of Greenland.
    3. led me to serve on 2 short term medical missions to Africa: Zaire (1994) and Liberia (1999).
    4. attracted me to the sport of scuba diving without oxygen.

  8. As far as community service goes, I:

    1. am diligently producing more confetti for the Packer's next Super Bowl victory.
    2. donate one million dollars a year to dye Green Bay green.
    3. have served the last 10 years on the local school board.
    4. am still averaging 3 speeding tickets a year.

  9. A quiet project of mine has resulted in:

    1. the development of lukewarm fusion.
    2. a new baseball statistic that compares individual hitting performances from different eras (published in Baseball Research Journal, 1999).
    3. proof that false memories are caused by e.s.p.
    4. the discovery that Dutch elm disease can be eradicated by gypsy moths, if only you use enough of them.

  10. As I mature, I have realized that:

    1. snake oil by any other name is very profitable.
    2. true wisdom is being able to recognize and out-manipulate people with personality disorders.
    3. I now fall asleep in front of the computer instead of the TV.
    4. all of the above.

  11. As our reunion is getting closer, I am:

    1. wondering what happened to Andy Hunter.
    2. still thinking about losing weight.
    3. regretting not keeping in touch with my high school friends.
    4. all of the above.

Mike Sluss